sidewalk social scientist don't get no satisfaction from your cigarette

99.





parallel lines
blondie [chrysalis, 1978]

i pity the poor singles act. Blondie topped the pops during nude wave with a string of chart-devouring hits that smashed together classic, classy '60s Spector girl-group pop, bathroom puke punk energy, and smatterings of flava: disco, dub, and whatever Fab 5 Freddy said was fly. if the singles were the pinnacle of the power and the punch of pure pop, the albums were passable yet predictably not perfect with the possible exception of Parallel Lines. you know the ubiquitous, slightly overused numbers already, i'm sure, hypocrite reader. before the Wetjet swiffed and Angelica pickled "one way or another," it was a ferocious, crazed-eyed stalker anthem. "sunday girl" is engrossing, elegant, slightly cheesy sleaze. and what kind of jackass would leave ms. harry "hanging on the telephone?" oh yeah, there's some dance song that may be the sleekest, most bubbly effervescent yet detached sexy cool ice princess ten out of ten perfect pop tracks EVER. but don't forget the ramshackle Buddy Holly hoedown of "i'm gonna love you too," the Eno avant-pop of "fade away and radiate" [yeah, that's Robert Fripp making all the fucked-up guitar noises] and the early Madonna prototype "i know but i don't know." the CBGB's pedigree may have given Blondie cred as members of some sort of musical revolution/upheaval, but Parallel Lines is timeless, sharp, helplessly stellar pop music.

awesome moment: the beginning of "fade away and radiate," where all the instruments clear the floor except cascading smack-drums and unsettling guitar percolations while debbie's voice echos into the dark and lonely night.

i'm a student of the drums...i'm also a teacher of the drums too a-heh a-heh a-heh

100.





endtrod-ucing...
dj shadow [mo' wax, 1996]

wicka-wicka wah wah sssssSSSSSRAK, DJing ain't all finger poppin' joint snappin', jet settin', scene stealin', line sniffin' relentless partyheartying. it ain't depthless bravado and unhinged debauched vacuity and trust fund decadence. no, Endtroducing... is a house of nudie cards, a layer of sonic flapjacks. wild-eyed drums bulldoze porcelain strings and throw bones with scatting horns. Shadow throws a net into the deep sea of the past and dredges up memories of sounds, ghosts of aural architecture. these noises are the forgotten and the passed-over, discarded and disassociated, melting vinyl flying in place. yet Shadow blows off the dust, gives 'em a 'lil spitshine polish, places them in an entirely new context and then - wicka wicka - transcendence. this is a self-contained musical ecosystem where David Axelrod, Grandmaster Flash, and Bjork all graze peacefully on the grass, where concepts of "genre" are discarded and every noise, every note, every vibration becomes integrated into a pulsating ball of sound and rhythm. sure, it's occasionally self-consciously arty and brazenly "cinematic," but inane TV soundbites and cornball dialogue from early morning stoned Westerns lurk beneath the grandiose surface. ultimately, by being so eloquent, so high-minded, so grand, this record proves that sample-based music - or, speaking more broadly, hip-hop in general - doesn't have to derivative, sleazy, carnal, or "it's the money." ssssKKKKRIT

awesome moment: the elongated CLANG [sampled from a swedish dude named pugh rogefeldt] and enormous, thunderous drums at the beginning of "mutual slump" jolts you into attention after the blissed-out, quietly sinister radio ambiance at the end of "stem/long stem/transmission 2."

COP OUT COP OUT COP OUT

i started something i couldn't finish. TYPICAL ME TYPICAL ME TYPICAL ME.

the project is too daunting, the list itself is now over a year old and my musical preferences have shifted; i've discovered new things, abandoned the old, and re-contextualized how i view and appreciate music [sort of, at least]. and ultimately, it's difficult to write honestly, passionately, and creatively about one's 756th or 427th favorite song. AND, i haven't updated since may. so, the "1000 songs" list has been put on indefinite hiatus. i may resume it at some point, probably not.

AND.

i want to write about other topics. film. culture. politics. history. science. so, the emphasis of this blog will slowly shift away from music to the shinier, shimmering pastures of variety and diversity. maybe i'll update more frequently.

BUT.

i have a new "music nerd" list!! my 100 favorite albums! i hope to finish the list by the end of the year.

what separates the pedestrian, the average, and the mundane from the fantastic, the memorable, and the superior? i consider a variety of [esoteric?] factors when evaluating an album: coherency, cohesiveness, cojones. aesthetic qualities of sound, musicianship, lyrics. distinctiveness and singularity. context in artist's career. if applicable, influence, historical relevance, and canonical position. but mostly, overall cerebral and visceral effect. if an album moves me in some way, either on the first listen or the tenth; if it causes me to feel, to think, to move, to dance, to scream the lyrics off-key in my car, to ENGAGE, if it's something that impacts or influences my life in a meaningful way, then it's elevated to a "QUALITY" album in my twisted mind. i realize this is ultimately a intrinsically subjective approach to thinking and writing about music critically, but, you know, dancing about architecture is difficult enough as it is. pure objectivity doesn't exist in evaluation. SO.

criteria:

- one album per band/artist. i know this hackneyed, but, hey, it adds variety.
- no compilations or live albums. sorry singles going steady and live at the harlem square club.

...and we're off!

it's so fucked i can't believe it: 791-795

791. "connection"

elastica

1994

elastica

think of the crunched-out, self-aware artiness of post-punk/divide it by busy, overwrought '90s production/something is missing?/nothing is missing!. enough. yeah, this unabashedly and shamelessly wrenches the riff from "three girl rhumba" and transplants it to a field of gaudy studio effects and sickeningly clean distortion. but it's a raucous and exhilarating ride; justine frischmann snidely sneers and snots more swagger than a cocky college coed on cocaine. you make the connections, sailor. can't you hear both karen o and romeo void? cheap imitation may be the most sincere form of flattery, but this re-contextualizes that wily wire riff and kicks it to the stratosphere. you might be post-modern if...

elastica - connection

792. "perverted undertone"

prefuse 73

2003

one word extinguisher

whatever happened to guillermo! scott! heren!? he emerged early in the decade as indie hip-hop's equivalent to timbaland, inundating break beats with echo, reverb and flange; a funkier and less self-important DJ shadow. a track like "perverted undertone" thrives on its narcoleptic repetition and gnarled simplicity with a swelling, swirling, swallowing synth riff and muted, happy-go-lucky drums. this is music for late night designated driving; you silence your boozed, boisterous buddies with a "shut the fuck up" and a maxed-out sound system while the fading neon lights glisten to the beat.

prefuse 73 - perverted undertone

793. "freak scene"

dinosaur jr.

1988

bug

most of myths about '90s slackerdom arose from this ragtag crew of recalcitrant ruckus-bringin' RAWKers. j. mascis' nonchalant guitar hero pyrotechnics slam you to ground and knife you in the back - that solo is one for the ages and the masses and the records - while the half-mumbled rhymes about fuckin' up and not growin' up suffocate underneath the distortion and feedback. this is the undoubtedly the template for "grunge:" punk 'tude vs. classic rock chops. kurt cobain may still be alive strumming beat happening covers in a dank seattle coffeeshop if not for dinosaur jr.

dinosaur jr. - freak scene

794. "in the midnight hour"

wilson pickett

1965

in the midnight hour

oooo-wheeee wil-SON pic-KETT! pulse, pulse, thrust; pulse, pulse, thrust. woozy, bluesy, boozy horns that bluster and blare while the whiskey-breathed men glare at those ever so short skirts. ride it, ride it. this is quintessential (yep, used it aGAIN) stax/volt gritty throbbin' boppin' southern soul. it may not have the spit polish of motown or the smoothed-out silkiness of, say, sam cooke, but it reels and rolls and rollicks and repeats in on itself like a gesticulating elevator. who doesn't crave that giddy moment in the night between boring sobriety and puking, crying and/or awkward sexual politics?

wilson pickett - in the midnight hour

795. "silence"

portishead

2008

third

ohmigod, stranded in public with swirling insanity and an unbecoming sense of dread. the scathing keith levene guitar lacerations and tumultuous rumble of a rhythm section push you closer to the abyss and then there she is. beth gibbons - with all the world's terror, misery, heartache and chaos wrapped up in her warble - tempts you to jump. this isn't a self-congratulatory comeback or a desperate, cheap cash-in; this is the unmitigated uncertainty of twenty first century existence filtered through a pair of musicians who presumably should have floundered in a sea of muted beats, hushed vocals and pseudo morricone samples circa 1998. this is the perfect opening to what will be remembered as one of the defining albums of the decade.

portishead - silence

comme la vague irrésolue: 796-800

796. "c30, c60, c90, go"

bow wow wow

1980

the best of bow wow wow

"i want candy," i know, i know, i know. and, yeah, exploitation all around and upside down. they weren't merely influenced by african music, they plagiarized and stole. machiavellian svengali scumbag douchebag malcolm mclaren didn't merely encourage the future members of bow wow wow to leave poor old adam ant, he forced them. did you know that frontgirl annabella lwin was only fourteen when all this going on? did you know that mclaren made her pose nude for an album cover? all right, all right. but this is the beginnings of the global agit-pop popularized by m.i.a. and her imitators. making mixtapes was the contemporary equivalent to illegally downloading music and this track is a big bony, protruding middle finger to record companies everywhere. copy, share, distribute, re-copy; what's the point in paying for music? and those amphetamine drums - ripped from recordings from burundi or not - threaten to bore a hole into your brain.

bow wow wow - c30, c60, c90, go

797. "kill for peace"

the fugs

1966

the fugs' second album

listen up hippie apologists and wannabes. take your flowers, take your lysergic acid diethylamide, take your free love, take your patchouli, take your beards and beads and bikes, take your acoustic guitars and drum circles. it's all meaningless without satire, self-deprecation, self-awareness, art. these guys epitomized the real counterculture of the 1960s. yeah, they did drugs, they grew beards, they played folk clubs and strummed guitars. but they didn't do it because it was fashionable, because it was cool, or to rebel against their parents. no, they did it because they didn't buy into the mass hypocrisy and rampant stupidity of western values and western society. "kill for peace" mocks and taunts and tears apart the contradictory ideologies that led to the vietnam war in particular, but could easily be applied to any conflict between nations that threaten lives., of course the phrasing is awkward, of course it's ramshackle and clunky. but it's hilarious ("the only gook an american can trust/is a gook that got his yellow head bust") and sharp as whittled twig. a spoonful of the funny helps the political go down in the most delightful way.

the fugs - kill for peace

798. "come into my world" (fischerspooner remix)

kylie minogue

2002

boombox

kylie knows how to pick her remixers. this was 2002, when electro-clash was the NEXT BIG THING and goofy, goopy geared fischerspooner were the icons, the eyeliner-ed faces, the big league. they add squelched out, heavy bass and spray reverb and echo all over kylie's vocals, transforming her into a spacey, icy, distant, sex and x fueled siren to the bleary-eyed rhythm machines thrusting violently on the dancefloor. the innuendo wasn't very subtle anyway, but the boys add some "uh, uh, uh, uh, uh" repetitions just slam the point into your dopamine-addled cerebrum. this is raunch for the digital age; groping, gyrating, grinding. it's meaningless, it's self-destructive, it makes you feel awful afterwards, but it's fun while it lasts. right?

kylie minogue - come into my world (fischerspooner remix)

799. "je t'aime... moi non plus" (feat. jane birkin)

serge gainsbourg

1969

jane birkin et serge gainsbourg

this is the only song covered by both donna summer and einsturzende neubaten, fo' sho. it attempts to replicate pillow talk between lovers, but this ain't sweet, this ain't no love story, this ain't no monogamy, this ain't no boyfriend/girlfriend. despite all the "i love you"s, this is no-strings-attached, casual, animalistic coitus. thrilling, disgusting, amazing, unsatisfying, soulless, gratifying. pervy ol' sergy captures all the mixed, conflicted emotions that come with that type of interaction. the strings and soft organ complement the melancholy of the melody. jane birkin's moans and gasps aren't sexy, they're desperate and hollow. the thrill of sex is replaced by pangs of regret and self-disgust. the french thought this was scandalous, i find it depressing and bittersweet.

serge gainbourg - je t'aime... moi non plus

800. "assassins"

lightning bolt

2003

wonderful rainbow

i admit to caring little about noise-rock. i admit to be a pansy who usually doesn't like to be constantly pummeled, pulverized and punished by what i'm subjecting my ears to. i admit to succumbing to belief in the probable misnomer that most noise-rock is aimless, repetitive, masturbatory "noodling." but i can also admit that everything time i play this track, i need to max out my volume. i need to feel the rumble, the chaos, the fervor, the NOISE. "assassins" may work for me due to the elements that least conform to the restrictions of the genre - brevity, rhythmic variation - but it's ultimately the brain-splattering build-up and the full utilization of the power, passion and potential of volume that keeps my eardrums red and my neck sore.

lightning bolt - assassins